Potter and Voldie @ Disneyland: THE Nonsense Story
by Luvnchris4life
Summary: This is what happens when two bored and easily entertained teenage girls decide to make fun of H.P. It's very random (hence the Disneyland reference) and probably won't make sense to anyone but me and Lady Reena, my co-author. Please R&R!


*A/N: This is our utterly random nonsense story. It probably won't make any sense to any of you because it mainly consists of inside jokes between Lady Reena and Lynz, the authors. We don't own any of the characters, so don't sue us for any of this nonsense. We just made up this story because we are extremely weird and easily entertained. That being said, enjoy!* *P.S.: Please see the A/N at the bottom of this story after you're finished reading it!*  
  
  
  
Prologue sort of nonsense:  
  
Lady Reena: U half any ideas? U could start! I started last time!  
  
Lynz: No!!!! Ur better @ starting!!!  
  
Lady Reena: ppppppppooooooooooooo  
  
Lynz: *whining like a baby*  
  
PLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?????????? ?????????????????????  
  
Lady Reena: OK, I'LL START THE STUPID STORY! I HAVE NO IDEAS THOUGH!! I HAVE BEEN ATTACKED BY THE DREADED...WRITERS BLOCK!!! *Classic  
  
Halloween scream in the background, followed by breaking glass, a  
  
cat's meow, and an evil laugh*  
  
Story or whatever:  
  
Once upon a time Harry Potter was walking down the street in the Muggle world since it was summer and all. He needed to get away from that awful family of his. All of a sudden, he slipped over a piece of Swiss cheese!! "Hey, cheese!" he exclaimed. He picked it up and started to eat it.  
  
"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!" blared a Voice (yes, i  
  
capitalized that on purpose).  
  
"HUH?" Potter was so surprised, he dropped his cheese.  
  
It was Nick Carter, looking rather angry.  
  
"GRRRR!" he growled.  "I'M MAD CUZ YOU'RE POPULAR AND NOT AS ANNOYING AS ME AND EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE, LIKE, 14 YOU HAVE A DEEPER VOICE THAN ME!!!"  
  
Potter stared blankly at the blonde, rather feminine-looking Backstreet "Boy" (no, the quotes aren't a typo).  "What do you want me to do about it?!?" he shouted.  
  
Carter blinked.  "I dunno," he said.  Potter rolled his eyes, picked up his cheese, and walked away.  He took a bite.  
  
:Lynz pauses: HEY!!! HE PULLED A LARRY!!!! (inside joke between authors) OK on with this story, whose destination is THE DEPTHS OF NOWHERE!!! *insert evil laugh here*  
  
Potter continued his journey through the Muggle world, stopping at a few places to look around.  He began to get tired and wanted to rest, so he found a park and pulled out his wand.  Waving it a few times, he successfully made a very comfortable couch appear on the grass under the shade of some trees.  He sat down comfortably and began to drift asleep.  
  
But he was awoken by a gasp. "HEY LOOK!" shouted a voice. "There's a couch right here under a tree! How'd ya do that, eh?"  
  
It was a tall dude wearing all black--The Dark Lord, Voldemort.  
  
Potter sat up very quickly and pulled out his wand, glaring suspiciously at Voldemort.  
  
"What?" said Voldemort.  
  
"You're supposed to kill me, or something," Potter explained.  
  
Voldemort waved his hand. "Oh, that," he said. "It got old. S'matter of fact, black robes are getting old too. Perhaps I should wear purple, or TYE DYE! YES!"  
  
Potter rubbed his eyes. "OK, I have officially gone nuts!" he said.  
  
"NUTS?" said Voldemort in delight. "I like nuts. Pistachios, almonds, peanuts, doughnuts."  
  
*Lady Reena, in the background- "Peanuts aren't nuts, they're legumes!"*  
  
*Voldemort looks up. "Oh. Right. Legumes. Which means they are part of the pea family."*  
  
*Lady Reena nods and goes back to writing.*  
  
"So anyways," said Voldemort. "Since you're the famous Harry Potter and all, you must have gotten that couch here by magic. How 'bout showing me how?"  
  
"Er...right." Harry said. He explained it, and soon Voldemort has his own couch (purple) and a table full of snacks.  
  
Potter and Voldemort were chatting like old friends, when all of a sudden,  
  
a giant Frito appeared behind Voldemort.  "What the…?" Potter wondered aloud.  Voldemort turned around and released a high-pitch scream.  
  
*Lynz & Reena's glasses break from the high-octave sound waves: "Hey!" they shout. "Stop that!!!"  :Lynz writes in a new pair of glasses for each of the authors and continues*  
  
"What's wrong?!?" Potter demanded.  "It's just a Frito!"  
  
"A-a-a what?" Voldemort asked.  
  
"A Frito!  They're a kind of chip in the Muggle world…it's a snack.  They're pretty good with onion dip.  Here," he said, breaking off a piece of the gigantic Frito and handing it to Voldemort.  "Try it."  
  
"OUCH!!!!!!!!!!" exclaimed a booming Voice.  "THAT HURT!!!!"  
  
Potter's jaw dropped to the floor in surprise, and slowly he looked up at the top of the gigantic Frito. A pair of angry eyes stared down at him.  
  
'Well that's just great!' he thought. 'Everyone's getting mad at me today!'  
  
Voldemort was so scared; he was hyperventilating into a paper bag. Potter was still holding the piece of Frito, and put it on Voldemort's head.  
  
"I think you broke my hip!" said the Frito. "Poopy butt!"  
  
"Fritos don't have hips," said Potter.  
  
The Frito sighed. "Oh yeah huh," he said. "I fergot."  
  
Voldemort had semi-recovered and was now eating the piece of Frito, but was staring wide-eyed at it.  
  
"Say." said the Frito. "You haven't seen my girlfriend around these parts, have you? She's a Cheeto, she's pretty tall and thin, and has orange skin...?"  
  
Voldemort and Harry shook their heads.  
  
"Well poo," said the Frito, and ambled off.  
  
Voldemort and Harry started to return to their comfy couches, but found that they were already occupied!  
  
A purple cat with pink polka dots sat on Voldemort's couch, and a red, blue, and yellow striped snail sat on Potter's.  "COOL!!!!" Voldemort shouted.  "A PURPLE CAT!!! YES!!!"  
  
"With pink polka dots," Potter added.  He went over to his couch and looked at the snail.  It looked like Gary from Spongebob Squarepants, except it was odd colors.  
  
"What are YOU looking at, four eyes?" the snail said.  Potter was startled and quickly jumped back.  
  
"Whoa, you can talk!!!" he said.  His eyes were wide in surprise.  
  
"Tell us something we don't know," the cat hissed.  Voldemort and Potter looked at each other with wide eyes.  
  
"DUDE!!!" they exclaimed to each other.  
  
"What are you, surfers?" the snail asked.  "I hate surfers.  They're so stupid.  What could possibly be so interesting about the current of water???"  
  
"You hate everything," the cat stated.  The snail nodded in agreement.  
  
"Umm...I hate in interrupt this venting session, but can we have our couches back?"  Voldemort asked.  
  
"NO!!!" the two animals snapped.  
  
"Well, then, we'll just have to take them back," Potter whispered in Voldemort's ear.  He pulled out his wand and said, "Lumos!"  
  
The end of his wand lit up, just like a flashlight. Potter shined the light into the cat and the snail's eyes.  
  
The animals blinked, looked at each other, and shrugged. "What kind of stupid spell was THAT?" sneered the cat. "That won't do diddly-squat to OUR eyes. We are the coolest animals alive."  
  
Potter sighed, downcast. "Nox," he said, to turn the light off. "Dude. That charm usually is useful."  
  
Voldemort took out his wand. "I know one!" he said.  
  
The cat and snail rolled their eyes at each other, while the cat helped himself to a powdered doughnut.  
  
"HEY!" said Voldemort indignantly. "That's MINE!" He pointed his wand at the cat. "Petrificus Totalus!"  
  
The polka-dotted cat went all stiff, and only his eyes moved around. "Sorry bout that, " said Voldemort happily.  
  
The snail looked rather alarmed. "I'll go now, " he said, scurrying off.  
  
Potter picked up the stiff form of the cat, hit himself over the head with it, then tossed it into the trash.  
  
Voldemort and Potter sat down on their couches again. "I'm BOOOOOOREEEDD," complained Voldemort.  
  
"Me toooooooo," whined Potter.  
  
They decided to go do something else. So they went to Disneyland (which, if you know your Potter, is on a whole other continent, but who cares? It's FANFIC people).  
  
"Wow, I want one of those!!" said Voldemort about the huge flower patch that formed Mickey Mouse's face.  
  
Potter rolled his eyes and went to get a park map. Then they set off for Tomorrowland, where they had all sorts of In-The-Future sort of rides.  
  
"Which one should we go on first?" said Potter, who'd never been to Disneyland before- Voldemort hadn't either, since it was a Muggle attraction and all.  
  
"I dunno...I've never even HEARD of these things before!" said Voldemort.  Of course, all of the muggles walking by them were staring.  It was as if they'd never seen a really really really tall guy in an all-black robe and a hidden face walking around with a short little 14-year-old boy with a lightning-shaped scar, carrying a flying broom and a wand!!!  *Author, panting, takes a long drink of soda to refresh herself after writing that mouthful*  
  
"OOH OOH!!!" Potter said, jumping up and down excitedly.  "LET'S RIDE THE AUTOPIA CARS!!!"  
  
"The WHAT???" Voldemort said, allowing Potter to drag him by his hand to the line.  After fifteen minutes of waiting, Voldemort began to get impatient.  "Hmmm…let's see if I can solve this little problem," he muttered to himself.  He carefully said a few words, and POOF! everyone in line vanished.  
  
"COOL!" Potter exclaimed.  He and Voldemort advanced toward the cars and got in, carefully fastening their seat belts.  Potter rolled his eyes at the perkiness of the "car's" voice.  "Dude..." he thought.  "I've heard people talk about this place, and I heard the original Autopia was better."  He took out his wand, and listened happily as the OLD announcer's voice came over the speakers and said his speech that is repeated every 17 seconds.  
  
*NOTE!:  Yes, this part of the story is actually true.  Lady Reena and I (Lynz) went to Disneyland when they had the old Autopia, and we tested it to see how often they repeated the speech.  It's every 17 seconds.  And the speech goes: "Attention Autopia drivers: Please remain on the sideWALK until your car has arrived.  Once in your car, please fasten your SEATbelt.  To go, place your foot down on the petal.  To stop, take your foot off the petal. (DUH!)  For the safety of you and the safety of other drivers, please do not bump the car in front of you or stop in the middle of the track.  Thank you and have a safe and fun drive!"  We rode on this ride like 80 million times in a row, so it got burned into our brains. ANYWHOOZLE...back to the adventure...*  
  
"THIS IS GONNA ROCK!" Voldemort screamed excitedly.  He waited as the ride operators checked the other cars' seatbelts, and when he got the go-ahead, loudly pealed out.  Of course, this was Voldemort's first time EVER driving a car!  
  
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Voldemort screeched as his car zoomed forward. Potter, who was in front of him, looked back and rolled his eyes at Voldie's distress. "TAKE YOUR FOOT OFF THE PETAL!" he yelled.  
  
So Voldemort did. And came to a dead stop in the middle of the track!! The muggle behind him crashed into him. "HEY BUDDY!" said the muggle. "What's the deal?!"  
  
So Voldemort urged his car forward again, slower this time. Then...uh oh! Here comes a turn! he thought. He turned the wheel, and his car went way off to the side. Luckily the black little track thingy stopped him from going off the road. Since it was Disneyland and all- I mean come on! The 'Happiest Place on Earth' slogan just doesn't go with 'Old tall dude gets killed in fake cars!'  
  
*Ahem.* Anyways. The whole ride was like that, with Voldie not being in control of his car. "Owiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeezzzzzzz," he said afterwards. "I dun like that ride. Let's do something ellllllsssseeeeeeee."  
  
"Oh, quit your bellyachin'," said Potter.  
  
They went to go on Star Tours, a ride where you sit in this room and there's a screen and it feels like you're zooming through space. When they got in and fastened their seat belts, as a lady on the TV directed.  
  
"I dun like her!" complained Voldemort. "She's too perky!!"  
  
"Indeed," said Potter. "We ought to set her and the every-17-seconds announcer dude up."  
  
When the ride was over they walked out in a bit of a daze being that the ride was so jerky. To exit they had to pass through the Tomorrowland gift shop, where they sold star wars junk and the usual tourist stuff. They looked around for awhile, and then- "Whoa!! Look at THIS!!!" cried Voldie.  
  
"What?" Potter said from across the store, where he was looking at all the Star Wars shirts and contemplating whether or not to buy one.  He looked up from the three shirts in his hands to see Voldemort playing with a fake light-saber that made different noises with different buttons.  Potter rolled his eyes.  
  
"PLEASE! What a waste of money!  At least get something you can use...like a shirt...or...uh..." He searched around for something else that was actually worth buying.  "Or a pencil!" he said, holding up a jar of Star Wars pencils that was sitting on the cashier's counter.  
  
"Hey yeah!" Voldie said excitedly, clapping and jumping up and down.  "I can give it to my brothers for Christmas!!! YAYAYAYAY!"  He grabbed a handful of pencils and went to the cash register.  "What're you getting?" he asked Potter.  
  
"I think I'm gonna get these shirts.  I can't figure out which one I want, so I'll pick later and give the other two to Ron and Hermione."  Voldie nodded and they paid for their purchases.  
  
As they were walking out, they came to an elevated ride, which they later discovered was named Rocket Rod.  "What's this?" Potter asked curiously.  They watched as a car departed slowly as first, then jetted off going at least 60 MPH.  The two turned to each other. "COOL!!!!" They shouted in awe.  As they raced toward the line, they heard a thunderous boom, as one of the cars flew off the track above and came hurtling toward the ground!  
  
"UH OH!" said Voldemort, then, "I'll save you!" He took out his wand, shouted a few words, and the car turned into a giant bubble!!! The people were still inside it, looking rather shocked, but they landed safely. The bubble popped.  
  
"That was odd," commented Harry. "Usually you like when people die."  
  
"Yeah, but I told you it was getting old, remember?"  
  
They got in line for the ride. A little kid in front of them was eating fries and BBQ sauce. Actually it was more like BBQ sauce and fries. "Hey, fries!!" said Voldemort. He reached for one, but the kid got mad!  
  
"HEY!" he yelled. "My fries! MINE! Not yers!"  
  
He threw them at Voldemort's front.  
  
"There!" said the kid. "Your fries now!!"  
  
"Cool," said Voldemort, as he picked some up off the ground and ate them. He dipped them in the sauce that was on his robe.  
  
At this point, they had reached the front of the line. They climbed in the four-person single-file car, Voldie in front.  
  
They fastened their seat belts, and exclaimed their excitement to each other.  As the car slowly approached the stop light on the track, Potter felt his heart beat racing.  The light turned green, and they took off!  
  
The ride proceeded to go through Star Tours, and Potter smiled at the fun he had had on that ride.  The track twisted around a turn, and both Voldie and Potter became a bit nervous at the angle that the car turned to.  But everything was safe, and before they knew it the ride had ended.  "THAT WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!" Voldie shouted with a high- five to Potter.  
  
"Glad you liked it," said a Disneyland employee.  "Because they're taking it out next week."  
  
"WHAT?!?!?!?!?" Potter exclaimed.  The employee nodded and explained to them that Rocket Rod had broken down more than it had actually worked during its short life span at Disneyland.  
  
"So, they're taking it out and building a new ride there," he said.  Potter nodded sadly.  He knew the man was right, but he still didn't want the ride to be taken out, especially since he'd only rode it once!  
  
"Okay, Voldie.  What do you want to do now?" he asked to his companion.  
  
"I'm hungry!"  Voldie exclaimed.  A whiff of cinnamon and sugar passed them both, and they turned to see a bright red churro cart against the edge of the arcade building.  They licked their lips and, to their growling stomachs' delight, purchased three churros each.  After their tasty snack, they walked around a bit, and soon found themselves in Fantasyland.  
  
"OOOH, COOL!" Voldie said when he saw Matterhorn Mountain. (Here's a useless fact for y'all: Matterhorn mountain was the first of the "mountain" attractions at Disneyland. Wanna know something else? Walt Disney was afraid of mice!)  
  
Just then, Potter spotted a HUGE bowl of green Jell-O. Yup, you heard me! JELLO!  
  
"THAT'S EVEN COOLER!!" he shouted, dashing off for it.  
  
He ran and ran and ran and ran and ran some more and when he was close he leaped...........  
  
*SMUSH!!!*  
  
"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" said Potter. "This is FUN! Come play with me!" he shouted to Voldemort.  
  
BOUNCY BOUNCY BOUNCY! Potter wiggled around in the Jell-O.  
  
Then.... UH-OH!! He was sinking!!!!  
  
"HELP!" he shrieked.  
  
Voldie ran over and attempted magic, but the only thing he could come up with was a couch. "Oh poo," he said.  
  
Potter drowned.  
  
Voldemort examined him. "Hmmm," he said. "I think he's dead!"  
  
So he ate some Jell-O, then went home and barfed.  
  
The end.  
  
*A/N: YES!!! Did you all LOVE our awesome story??? Yes, it was completely random. That's why it's so FUNNY!!!!!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY! BTW, Lynz's fanfiction.net name is Luvnchris4life, and Lady Reena's is Lady Reena, so go check all of our stories out and give us TONS of reviews!! Don't forget to review this story and tell us how completely AWESOME it is!!! BYEEEEEEEEEEE HALF A NICE DAY!* 


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